Dear Ralph,

I appreciate that you left me alone for the most part for the first….oh….six to eight weeks of this pregnancy. I don’t recall ever extending you a formal invitation, yet I’m willing to admit that at first your presence was re-assuring. However, it’s customary for you to pack your bags and move on after the 12th week. It’s week 15. Please leave. I’m done with “ralphing.” It’s time for the “glow fairy” of the second trimester to take over.


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